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Valentine’s Day After Divorce

Posted in Divorce.

Valentine’s Day can be a trying time for many people, especially for those going through or those that have recently gone through a separation. In light of this, here are a few suggestions on how to get through the Hallmark Holiday:

  • Treat yourself: Valentine’s is a day to celebrate and practice all forms of love, including self-love. Practicing Self-care and embracing your Self-worth should be in everyone’s daily routine, whether single, married or divorced. Do not neglect what your mind, body & soul requires – pamper yourself with your favorite treats, fill your day with the people you love and the things you love to do. From a spa day, to a fancy restaurant, to a scenic walk, whatever makes you content and happy. Remember that you are the love of your life, so spoil yourself this holiday!

2.    Keep busy – Plan a full day of bustling activities and keep yourself occupied. If you are continuously engaged, you will find the day will go by considerably faster.  Fill your schedule with as many productive activities as possible: run some errands, clean the house, work on career-related tasks. You can also, and should also, fill your schedule with activities that you enjoy doing. Reward yourself for your industriousness and have fun!

3.    Try something new. Do not be afraid to do something different: try out a new hobby, a new look, or a new venue. New experiences can be refreshing and enlightening. You never know what you might discover or re-discover about yourself.

4.    Spend time with loved ones-  Valentines is a great time to spend with loved ones. Love comes in all shapes and forms, not just romantic. Spend the holiday with friends and family and put in some bonding time with the people you cherish! Have family and friends over, or ask them out if you like. But don’t forget that it is completely okay to spend the holiday by yourself and do things on your own, if that is more to your liking or if you can’t find someone to spend it with.  Learning to spend time by yourself and appreciating you own company is a valuable skill whether you are single or taken. And alone is not the same as lonely, be your own best company!

5.    Exercise – Physical activity has been proven to reduce levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Valentine’s can be a good time to be active: put in some time at the gym, go jogging, go hiking, or practice whatever form of physical activity you enjoy.

6.    Stay focused  – Do not romanticize or glamorize past relationships because of the holiday pressure. Remind yourself why the relationship ended. It is easy to focus solely on the good parts of past relationships and to gloss over the rest. Stay strong, do not dwell on memories or on what you think you are missing. Remember that the idealized portrayals of romance that the holiday and Hollywood promote are not accurate representations of relationships.