Balakhane Mediation includes On-line Divorce and Family Mediation Services where all Mediation Sessions are conducted on-line. Contact us to learn more.
Are you searching for a divorce mediator near El monte? Are you looking for cost effective approach to resolving your divorce? Are you wondering if mediation is the right route for you?
Leyla Balakhane is a distinguished Los Angeles divorce mediator, facilitator, coach and trainer serving the El monte area and specializing in high conflict divorce law. She is a member of the Los Angeles County Bar Association LACBA Arbitration panel where she arbitrates family dispute concerns fees and costs. With respect to COVID19, we our now offering online family and divorce mediation services.
Going through a divorce can be emotionally taxing extremely costly and legally confusing. Choosing divorce mediation can help alleviate those challenges as mediators support individuals in processing any issues that arise, all while maintaining the autonomy and agency of those involved. If you are looking to file for divorce, mediation will create a space for you to find amicable resolutions with less conflict and legal costs.
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What You Need to Know About Spousal Support in California
What You Need to Know About Spousal Support in California
Navigating the court system during a divorce can be a complex and overwhelming process for spouses. However, with the right knowledge and understanding of key considerations, this process can be much smoother. In addition to discussing these important considerations, we’ll also explore the many benefits and flexibility that come with choosing mediation as an alternative to traditional litigation. Whether you are considering going to court or exploring mediation, our goal is to provide you with the information and resources you need to make informed decisions and achieve a positive outcome for your divorce. From income information highlighting financial circumstances, to compiling essential documentation and determining parenting schedules, there are a number of factors that go into ensuring preparation when entering the journey of divorce mediation.
One of the main and most important topics that arises throughout the legal separation and divorce mediation process, aside from child support and parenting schedules, is spousal support and which spouse will be subject to pay alimony.
Whether the decision to pursue divorce was mutually agreed upon, or it came separately from you or your spouse—financial assistance and who will receive spousal support is essential to consider and discuss as you start the journey to become self-supporting.
Before determining eligibility for long term spousal support, let us distinguish between the three sources of choices for mediating parties, the CA Family Code, the financial considerations of everyday living, and agreements made by the parties.
What Is Spousal Support?
In California, spousal support, also referred to as alimony, is money that one spouse pays to the other after undergoing the process of divorce. The purpose of this payment is to help the spouse receiving financial support maintain their post-divorce lifestyle. In some cases, it may also be used to help make up for lost wages due to career interruptions in order for the lower-earning spouse to become more financially independent.
Spousal support orders are typically determined on a case-by-case basis as there are many factors that are taken into account. From length of marriage, a spouse’s age, and income disparities—to your spouse’s earning capacity and changed circumstances, among others—there’s a wide range of factors to consider when undergoing a California divorce.
Depending on each spouse’s specific circumstances, financial support to one spouse may only be provided through a spousal support order either during and/or after the divorce process is finalized. While the concept is simple—the legal aspects around alimony can be complex.
Eligibility for Spousal Support in California
How do you know if you qualify for spousal support in California? If you are a California resident and are contemplating divorce mediation as an option over a court based litigation, it is essential to assess whether spousal support in your particular circumstances would be warranted as viewed through the lens of the law.
In a case law ruling that dissolves a marriage, a court may order temporary alimony to be paid by one spouse to the other in a specific amount, for a set period of time that the court deems just and reasonable, based on the standard of living established during the marriage. This type of support, commonly referred to as spousal support, is often called alimony in jurisdictions outside of California, but it essentially means the same thing.
In general, either spouse may request spousal support after filing for divorce in accordance with California law. Understanding the technicalities of California’s family court system is crucial for determining your eligibility for permanent spousal support. In order to qualify for long term spousal support in California, either spouse must meet certain requirements set out by state law.
Family Code Section 4320 is a provision of California law that outlines the factors a court must consider when issuing an order for spousal support, which is also referred to as alimony. The section provides a list of factors that the court must take into account when making a determination regarding spousal support in a divorce or legal separation case.
Some of the factors that are considered in accordance with Family Code Section 4320 include:
Age and Health of both spouses
When California courts make a final judgment in a divorce case, they consider any age gaps and health ailments as an indication into which spouse is susceptible to being more vulnerable.
Any income and assets along with a breakdown of your spouse’s debts
Whether you’re self-employed or working for a company, gaining an understanding of where you stand financially is essential for depicting your ability to provide temporary alimony or permanent spousal support. Additionally, it offers a clear indication as to which spouse is more likely to be the sole provider of child support and alimony payments.
Earning capacity of both spouses
California courts also assess the extent to which the present or future earning capacity of the recipient spouse has been impaired in order to care for minor children. Additionally, when determining how long spousal support should be provided by the supporting spouse, the courts consider the spouse’s ability to pay alimony and take into account their earning capacity, unearned income, assets, and standard of living.
Standard of living during marriage
The marital standard of living is a crucial factor that is considered when determining post-judgment support in a divorce case. It refers to the quality of material life that was made possible by the income of either spouse or both spouses combined.
Did the couple live a life of luxury or did they struggle to make ends meet? The answer to this question is crucial because it helps to determine the amount of spousal support that one party may be entitled to receive.
The court looks at this factor to help close the gap between the parties’ capacities to support themselves after they are no longer a married couple. This is especially important when one party has substantially higher earnings than the other party.
Ultimately, the goal is to ensure that both parties can maintain a standard of living that is as close as possible to what they had during the marriage. By taking into account the marital standard of living, the court can make a fair and just determination of post-judgment support.
Contribution of each spouse to a joint marital property
One of the key factors that is taken into consideration when determining spousal support is the current obligations and assets of each party, as they relate to community property or separate property for the duration of the marriage.
This means that the court will take a close look at the financial resources of each party, including their debts, income, and assets. They will also examine any property that was acquired during the marriage, and whether it is considered community property or separate property.
It’s important to note that spousal support is not intended to punish one party or reward the other. Instead, it is meant to help both parties maintain a standard of living that is as close as possible to what they had during the marriage.
Ultimately, by considering the current obligations and assets of each party, the court can make a determination that takes into account the unique circumstances of the case.
Economic losses due to career interruption
Any financial or monetary loss as a result of balancing hardships pertaining to each spouse’s career is another essential component courts consider when determining who becomes the supporting spouse or the supported party.
Length of the marriage
In California, marriages that last for 10 years or more are considered long-term marriages under Family Code Section 4336. This is important because in a divorce case involving a long-term marriage, the court may order long-term spousal support to the supported spouse.
If the court makes an order for spousal support that is half the length of the marriage, it won’t be reversed because there is an ending date. The longer the marriage, the more likely it is that the spousal support will be open-ended.
However, for marriages that are less than 10 years, the court may set a fixed amount of time for support and it won’t be reversed by the courts.
Contribution by one spouse to the education or career advancement of the other
When considering the formula for alimony and granting an alimony award, education and career advancement is essential for the courts. As part of their support order qualification process, courts may also assess the marketable skills of the supported spouse, the job market for those skills, and the time and expenses required for them to acquire the appropriate education or training to develop those skills.
Financial condition of each party at the time alimony is requested
As part of the guideline for determining and paying spousal support, the courts may assess each spouse’s financial conditions and ability to be self-supporting. A spousal support calculator indicates that 40% of the paying spouse’s support is from their net income, reduced by half of the receiving spouse’s net monthly income. However, there are no specific formulas as any decision made by the court will depend entirely upon its assessment of all applicable facts.
The court may also modify alimony awards at any time if changes occur that affect one or both spouse’s needs for permanent or temporary spousal support payments. For example, if one party experiences a major change in income due to job loss or promotion, they can petition for a modification to their existing agreement, and request temporary support.
Any other factors that could be relevant to a particular situation
A court-imposed long term spousal support order versus temporary spousal support may ultimately be determined based on factors that are unique and relevant to the unique circumstances of each marriage.
The case for receiving long term spousal support payments or implementing a temporary support order can be complex, involving a number of complicated considerations. These include prenuptial agreements that may affect a spouse’s eligibility, as well as considerations related to community property and separate property.
The goal of the legislature is for each spouse to become self-supporting within a reasonable period of time, except in the cases of longer-term marriages (greater than ten years). In general, a reasonable period of time is considered to be one-half the length of the marriage. For example, in an eight-year marriage, the expectation is that the spouse receiving spousal support payments will become self-sufficient within four years.
In most jurisdictions, the court may modify or terminate spousal support if a recipient spouse is cohabiting with another person and receiving financial support from them. However, the court’s decision will depend on the specific circumstances of each case and the laws of the jurisdiction in question. In some cases, the court may reduce spousal support rather than terminate it completely.
Understanding the Three Basic Types of Spousal Support Orders
Temporary Support: This type of support is established at the beginning of a divorce case and is intended to provide financial assistance to a spouse until a final judgment or settlement is reached. Temporary support can be awarded for a specific period of time or until a specific event occurs, such as the completion of job training.
Post-Judgment Support: This type of support is established as a result of a settlement or judgment of divorce by the court. The length of support can vary from short-term to mid-term or long-term, depending on the length of the marriage and other factors. Post-judgment support takes into consideration many criteria, such as the length of the marriage and the standard of living during the marriage. It is intended to provide ongoing financial support to a spouse after the divorce is final.
Non-Modifiable Support: This type of support is predetermined and cannot be changed. It can be in the form of a fixed amount paid for a set period of time or a lump sum settlement that ends the support obligation. Non-modifiable support is typically awarded in cases where the financial circumstances of the parties are clear and unlikely to change.
Here Are Some Tips for Spouses Requesting Alimony
Be realistic with your needs: When requesting alimony, it is important to have a clear understanding of your monthly expenses. Take some time to prepare a realistic list of expenses, including housing, food, transportation, healthcare, and any other necessary expenses. This will help you to determine the appropriate amount of alimony you need to maintain your standard of living.
Consider opportunities to increase your income: While alimony can be helpful, it is important to explore other opportunities to increase your income. This may include taking on additional work, pursuing education or training, or starting a business. By increasing your income, you can become more self-sufficient and reduce your reliance on alimony payments.
Create a plan for education or training: If you do decide to pursue education or training to increase your income, it is important to create a plan to guide you towards your goals. This may include researching schools or programs, identifying sources of funding, and setting a timeline for completion.
Be realistic about the changes that will occur: Divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience, and it is important to be realistic about the changes that will occur as a result. This may include changes to your living situation, your financial situation, and your social support network. By acknowledging these changes and preparing for them, you can better manage the transition and move forward with your life.
Be aware of local laws and regulations: It is important to familiarize yourself with the laws and regulations governing alimony in your state or jurisdiction. For example, in California, temporary support is routinely generated by a formula that is computer-driven. However, when determining long-term support, the courts are advised not to rely solely on the computer software due to the many variables that are not built into the software. By understanding the local laws and regulations, you can better navigate the process of requesting alimony and ensure that you receive the appropriate amount of support.
Here are Some Tips for Spouses Who are Being Asked to Pay Spousal Support
Set realistic expectations: If your spouse is seeking spousal support, it is important to set realistic expectations as to how long it will take for them to become self-sufficient. Depending on their education, work experience, and other factors, it may take some time for them to become financially independent. By setting realistic expectations, you can better plan for the future and avoid any unnecessary conflict.
Avoid forcing your spouse into a low paying job: While it may be tempting to pressure your spouse into taking a low-paying job, this can be counter-productive to the outcome you want to achieve. By allowing your spouse the time and resources to pursue education or training, they may be able to secure a higher-paying job in the long-term, which will ultimately benefit both parties.
Recognize that you may be paying more upfront: If your spouse is pursuing education or training, you may be required to pay more upfront to support them. However, it is important to remember that this investment can lead to increased income opportunities in the future, which can ultimately benefit both parties. By recognizing the long-term benefits of supporting your spouse’s education or training, you can approach the situation with a more positive outlook.
Navigating the process of spousal support can be a daunting task, especially during the emotionally charged time of divorce. However, there is hope for a peaceful and equitable resolution when both parties are willing to engage in mediation and explore creative solutions.
Setting realistic expectations and avoiding unnecessary conflict can help pave the way for productive negotiations. Rather than approaching the process with a combative attitude, both parties should strive to approach the situation with an open mind and willingness to explore all options.
Considering financial assets, asset division, and debt assignment, among other factors, can be instrumental in achieving a fair and just outcome for both parties. By taking the time to consider each other’s unique needs and circumstances, it becomes possible to create a solution that works for everyone involved.
It’s essential to remember that the goal of spousal support is not to punish one spouse or benefit the other. Instead, it is designed to provide financial assistance to the spouse in need while also ensuring that the other spouse is not unfairly burdened.
Approaching the process with compassion, patience, and a willingness to explore all options can make a world of difference. It’s possible to create a solution that provides stability and security for both parties, paving the way for a brighter future.
How Support Orders are Considered
While there are “rules of thumb” for the length of time Spousal Support may be paid, there are other various factors that come into play under the law to assist in the calculation of spousal support.
California law can be a challenge to comprehend, especially when it pertains to alimony and regulations around alimony payments. If you’re going through a separation, it’s essential to become familiarized with the various rights pertaining to spousal support and calculating alimony, in order to make informed decisions throughout the process.
Gain a more comprehensive understanding as to whether you may have to pay spousal support or whether you will be in need of support if your financial circumstances fall within the parameters accepted in a support order.
The Benefits of Using Balakhane Mediation Services
If you are considering divorce, it is recommended that you engage a divorce-family mediator. Unlike the court system, mediation allows couples to work in privacy, which is crucial during a difficult time. A mediator can guide you through all aspects of the process, ensuring a fair and equitable final settlement. Furthermore, working with a mediator provides a safe environment for both parties and protects privacy throughout the proceedings.
With the proper insight and guidance, you can ensure that your interests are considered throughout every step of the process. Proper guidance is crucial for your post-divorce financial future remaining secure.
Considering requesting a spousal support order or temporary order? Curious to know if you will have to pay alimony, or if you are entitled to receiving long term spousal support? At Balakhane Mediation, divorce and matters around obtaining spousal support is one of our primary specializations.
Whether you’re waiting on a final judgment around alimony payments or long term spousal support—or encountering challenges around a spousal support order and need professional guidance—Balakhane Mediation is here to help on every step of your journey.
To learn more about your options for spousal support and how you can achieve a settlement that maximizes benefits for both parties, contact Balakhane Mediation today for a complimentary initial consultation at 424-235-4173. Leyla Balakhane will help guide you through the process and find creative solutions that work for your unique situation. Take the first step towards a fair and equitable resolution by scheduling your consultation today.
What to Prepare for a California Divorce Mediation
Whether you’re planning logistics around parenting schedules or discussing property division with your spouse, divorce is an intricate and sensitive process that requires mindfulness and preparedness—regardless of the situation.
In order to ensure that the communication between you and your spouse is aligned, seeking the guidance of a neutral third party (e.g. a family law mediator) to help you come to mutually-agreed upon outcomes around parenting schedules, spousal support, property division, and more, is highly advised.
Divorce mediation is a great option for couples who want to minimize conflict while helping them make decisions around their children’s needs (e.g. child support and parenting schedules)—and provides an opportunity to amicably agree on the outcome of the divorce in a manner that is private, cost-effective, and encourages conflict resolution for everyone involved.
What is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process whereby a neutral third party—a family law mediator—helps you and your spouse reach an agreement on the terms of your divorce. The mediator does not make any decisions for you, but rather, facilitates communication between you and your spouse to help you reach an agreement.
Mediation is often quicker and less expensive than traditional litigation, and can be less adversarial than going through a court system. As you and your spouse work together to reach an agreement, mediation can also help preserve relationships—which is especially important if you have children together.
How Does the Divorce Mediation Process Work?
Before beginning mediation, it’s important to take a moment to understand what the process entails in order to be best prepared as you enter negotiations.
Mediation consists of each party meeting with a divorce mediator separately to discuss their goals for the process. This meeting is called a “caucus” and is used as an opportunity for the mediator to also assess whether mediation is appropriate given the nature of your circumstance.
If it’s determined that mediation is appropriate, the mediator works with both spouses to establish and develop ground rules for the process. These rules might cover things like how often you’ll meet, whether or not outside expert opinions will be sought, how confidential information should be treated, among others. Once these factors are established and both spouses understand what they entail, the actual mediation process can begin.
The importance of reaching a mutually-beneficial outcome through collaborative discourse is emphasized at the beginning of each mediation session. After the divorce mediator concludes the opening remarks, each spouse is asked to provide their input regarding the various topics of discussion. At this stage, the mediator guides the conversation, addresses questions, clarifies certain matters, and ensures that each spouse has expressed their views.
Once all of the relevant information has been shared, the mediator assists spouses with brainstorming possible solutions until a mutually-satisfying agreement is reached.
From gathering important financial documents to compiling a list of all assets and liabilities, and more, below is a checklist to make sure you are best prepared for the next steps in the divorce mediation process.
The Main Benefits of Preparing for Divorce Mediation
One of the main benefits of preparing for divorce mediation is that it helps spouses understand their financial situation. If you clearly understand your financial situation going into mediation, you will be better equipped to make informed decisions about your future.
Another benefit is that it provides you with a safe space to work through the issues arising from your divorce. Working through challenges in the setting of a family law mediator can help spouses process emotions and come to terms from a more collaborative place.
Finally, timely preparation can help you to make informed decisions about some of the most important aspects of your life, such as conversations around parenting plans and schedules, spousal support, and property division—among others. This will enable you to make decisions that are in your best interest, while allowing you to move on from your divorce with a more positive approach.
Getting Started with Divorce Mediation
As families begin to plan their separate but connected lives, divorce mediation offers spouses a more empathetic alternative to the traditional court proceedings. If you’re considering mediation as part of your divorce process, there are a number of factors to consider as you take the leap into the unknown.
Make sure you are ready for mediation.
Your mindset will be the determining factor to the success of the outcomes achieved with a family law mediator. Self awareness, compassion, and mindfulness are essential when approaching the mediation process. This means being prepared to discuss sensitive topics in a constructive and collaborative manner.
If you are not ready to approach the process in a sensitive and collaborative manner, then it may be best to wait until you have come to terms on what’s best for your specific circumstance.
Understand what the mediation process is and isn’t.
Before beginning your mediation journey, make sure you know what to expect from start to finish. Knowing what the process entails before you enter it, will help you and your spouse put things into perspective and understand the expectations as you enter this uncharted territory together.
Consider whether mediation is right for your situation.
Undergoing a traditional litigated divorce can be stressful, emotional, and time-consuming. It can also heighten the conflict between you and your spouse as your case is involved in court. With divorce mediators, you can keep things amicable as you work together towards a mutually-beneficial resolution.
Choose a mediator who is experienced and reputable.
Just like not all circumstances for divorce or separation are created equal, the same goes for mediators. It’s important that you find a family law mediator that is experienced, unbiased, reputable, and most importantly, empathic to your situation and one that you feel comfortable talking to as you share your personal details with this individual.
Make a list of what is important to you.
Before entering the process of divorce mediation, create a list of goals for the mediation. What are your non-negotiables? What are you willing to compromise on? What does your ideal outcome look like at the end of it all? Having a clear understanding of what you want to achieve will help you stay focused during the mediation.
Gather all the relevant documents.
Financial documents like tax returns, bank statements, and credit card statements; legal documents such as prenuptial agreements and wills; and any other documents that may be relevant to your divorce (e.g. messages or emails), among others—are all essential documentation to gather as you prepare to meet with a divorce mediator.
Be prepared to compromise and make a reasonable offer.
In order to achieve an amicable and collaborative outcome, both spouses should avoid sticking strictly to their “non-negotiables” as that will lead to an impasse in the process. Instead, come prepared to compromise and offer alternative options to reach a cooperative outcome.
Approach the process with respect at all times.
Taking the next step in your divorce is not an easy reality for anyone involved. Being respectful of each other’s journey throughout the entire process may not be easy, but is extremely important if you want to achieve a mutually-desired outcome for your family. Remember, the goal is to reach an agreement so you can begin the next step of your journey.
Trust your mediator’s expertise and be willing to follow their guidance.
When you undergo a traditional litigated divorce with a divorce attorney, you lose control over the final outcome when a judge enters the scenario. With the guidance offered by divorce mediators, however, you and your spouse are in control as you determine what works best for you and your family moving forward. In order to achieve this outcome, it’s essential for both spouses to trust the divorce mediator’s expertise and be receptive and willing to follow their guidance.
Take a break if things get heated.
As couples approach the mediation process, their emotions may run high during mediation sessions. This is normal, but if things start getting out of hand, it’s acceptable and encouraged to take a break as tempers will only subside if everyone takes some time to calm down. Once everyone has had some time to unwind and reflect, they can come back to the session with a clearer outlook and try again.
Choosing the Right Divorce Mediator for the Process
If you’re considering a private divorce mediation, you’re probably wondering how to choose the right mediator for your needs. Here are several factors to keep in mind as you research your options.
Active Listener:
Consider a mediator who demonstrates active listening techniques, and creates opportunities for focused communication by preventing interruption, clarifying, summarizing, refocusing and acknowledging you and your spouse during their opening statements.
Moderator:
An experienced mediator offers support on every step of the mediation process. They assist spouses throughout the negotiation process by offering guidance in structuring their communication.
Compassionate:
Divorce is an emotionally charged process with a lot of connecting pieces. Both you and your spouse are entering emotional spaces throughout your separate journeys. Given the circumstances, choosing a family law mediator who showcases characteristics of compassion, empathy and understanding towards your situation is crucial. The ideal divorce and family law mediator should create a safe and respectful environment where both spouses feel comfortable expressing their feelings, needs, and desired outcomes.
Creative Problem Solver:
An exceptional mediator is skilled in finding unique solutions that work for both spouses. This may include seeking external guidance including hiring a family and marriage therapist, divorce coach, or other experts to help minimize conflict and reach a mutually favorable and uncontested divorce. The private divorce mediator should also be able to negotiate skillfully on your and your spouse’s behalf and help facilitate a fair and equitable agreement for everyone involved.
Cost Effective:
While cost shouldn’t be the determining factor to consider when choosing a mediator, it is an essential one to consider when assessing value. Be sure to ask about their fee structure upfront in order to avoid unexpected circumstances later down the road.
Finding the right mediator can help turn this difficult time into one that is more manageable for everyone in reaching a settlement agreement.
Your California Divorce Mediation Checklist and Guide
As you start the divorce mediation process, you will need to compile essential documentation to ensure efficiency. Though your first divorce mediation session does not require significant preparation, it is highly encouraged to prepare for next steps.
While every circumstance is different, there are several documents that are helpful in any scenario. Below is a list of the documents to prepare for mediation:
Income information (including pay stubs, bank account balance statements, tax returns, etc)
A list of all assets and debts (including property such as real estate or vehicles; savings accounts; etc)
A proposed parenting plan if there are minor children involved
Real Property: your home’s value
How your household’s furniture will be divided: an itemized breakdown of high-value furniture or furnishings, appliances, jewelry, watches and collectables
Expenses around your property (e.g. mortgage payments, utilities, taxes, and insurance)
Any accounts with financial institutions: information on checking and savings accounts, credit unions, brokerage accounts, etc.
Retirement accounts or similar plans: most recent statements of either IRAs, 401(k), 403(b), pensions, plans around profit-sharing, or any deferred compensation plans, etc.
Life insurance policies: any information about your term policies, and most recent policy declaration page should be included
List of your businesses: include name, type of business, and the most recent tax return that was filed for each business
Stocks, bonds and any secured notes: include a recent statement that explains the value of each, where relevant
Personal tax returns: bring tax returns filed over the past three years
Debts and liabilities: list any major personal or business debts and liabilities that are significant to your circumstance
Income Summary: each spouse should bring their year-to-date pay stubs with a brief explanation of their income structure
The value of your business
How to resolve disputed in the future
How many children you have and any plans on how to navigate parenting visits and schedules in the future
Of course, this is just a starting point—your specific case may require additional documentation.
Divorce Mediation Checklist for Property Assets and Liabilities
Aside from parenting plans, property division is one of the most highly discussed issues that are addressed with a divorce mediator. When discussing how assets and liabilities are divided in a California divorce, the following factors may be touched upon in your first session:
Current Bank Account Balance Statements
All Children’s Account Balance Statements
Stock and Bond Investment Statements
Information about the make, model, and year of all vehicles owned as well as the private party value for each vehicle
A list of any pending lawsuits in which either or both spouses are named plaintiffs
A statement of any outstanding loans or verbal promises to repay a loan for which one or both spouses are creditors
Each spouse’s current retirement accounts statements
Detailed statements of all other employment benefits
Appraisals of all owned real estate at current market value
The approximate value of each home’s contents and personal property
Business valuations for all owned businesses
This is not an exhaustive list and should be used as a guide only.
Divorce Mediation Checklist Pertaining to Child Support
If you and your spouse are struggling to find common ground, your divorce mediator will help facilitate conversations around:
Legal Custody: refers to which parent will make decisions around children’s education, religion, and any major health related issues. Typically, both parents share legal custody.
Physical Custody: refers to the amount of time children get to spend with each parent. Parenting plans around day-to-day schedules, extracurricular activities, holidays, birthdays, summer and school breaks, among others, are factors that may likely be discussed with your mediator.
Divorce Mediation Checklist for Child Support and Expenses
California has implemented specific child support guidelines that both parents are required to abide by when it comes to their children’s upbringing. Throughout the negotiation process around child support and other expenses that may arise, expect to discuss the following with your divorce mediator:
Expectations around the amount of money one parent will pay
Health insurance
Medical expenses not covered by insurance
Tax deductions and who is eligible for them
Life insurance policies and who benefits from them
Expenses around who pays for children’s schooling
Expenses around any contribution to extra activities like birthday parties, class trips, etc.
Divorce Mediation Checklist for Spousal Support
Your family law mediator will also help facilitate conversations around spousal support and guide couples to reach an agreement around:
How much money is to be paid
Payment schedules and timeline
Potential implications regarding health insurance and life insurance
Divorce can be emotionally taxing, but with the right preparation, an amicable resolution with your spouse may be reached efficiently. While mediation may serve as a great alternative to litigated divorce, preparation is essential in order for everyone to reach a mutually desired outcome.
With the proper preparation, you’ll come out stronger as you and your spouse decide what’s best for you and your family.
How Balakhane Mediation Will Support Your Divorce Process
At Balakhane Mediation, our job is to support you through one of the most difficult transitions of your life. We offer guidance and support to help make the transition to your post-divorce life as smooth and stress-free as possible and are committed to helping you and your family during this difficult time by providing all the support and guidance you need about reaching a divorce settlement agreement!
Schedule a complimentary divorce mediation session today and allow us to review your needs in order to best assess next steps!
Still unsure whether divorce mediation is right for you? Read the 7 reasons to consider divorce mediation over litigated divorce.
Custody laws vary by state, and for the purpose of knowing your rights in the midst of co-parenting, it is important to know where your state stands. Follow the link below to find out your state’s child custody laws. Child Custody Laws in the United States
In mediation, you control the cost. Divorce mediation is not nearly as expensive as a divorce trial or custody suit as a trial alone can cost thousands of dollars per day. Most family and divorce mediators charge by the hour and only charge for the time spent working on the case. Mediation generally costs between five and ten thousand dollars whereas one divorce hearing alone could cost that much. Having a separation agreement already prepared before beginning mediation can lessen the costs of mediation even further. The money saved by choosing mediation over an exhausting divorce trial can be put towards children’s college tuition or even a few relaxing beach vacations to create lifelong memories with your loved ones.
El monte Divorce Mediation FAQ
Questions regarding mediation in El monte are normal; we have compiled some frequently asked questions and provided answers below:
Divorce mediation is a popular process used by a couple in divorce to avoid a costly and lengthy divorce trial. With the assistance of a neutral third-party mediator, agreements are reached on all divorce issues: division of property and debts, spousal support, parenting issues including time-sharing, child custody, and child support. Since all agreements are made in mediation, spouses never have to enter a courtroom and can avoid the conflict and stress of litigation.
In mediation, spouses make their own voluntary decisions and personalize their divorce terms to meet both of their needs. The choice to settle the case and avoid court is always up to the spouses and which process will work best for them. Spouses tend to be more satisfied with the mediation process compared to litigation due to several advantages including the fact that spouses can discuss their interests in mediation and therefore have the opportunity to have their interests met.
Mediation can occur in person, over the phone, and through video conference. Depending on the circumstances, mediation meetings can happen with the mediator and both spouses together (often called “joint session”). Mediation can also involve the mediator meeting with each spouse privately (often called “private caucus”) to discuss the needs of each party and find a way to help the spouses come closer to common ground.
Unlike the public nature of the litigation process in court, in most states, “mediation confidentiality” is protected by law. This means that all communications in mediation and disclosure of documents are confidential.
In comparison to the unknown timeline of a full-scale divorce suit that will end up in a trial, the length needed to complete mediation will be clear early on in the process. The average length of mediation usually involves at least three to four two-hour mediation sessions, spread out over at least a month or two. More complex cases can take between four to six months to complete. In addition to the timeliness of mediation, you will never have to feel as though you and your children’s futures are in the hands of someone other than you and your spouse.
A mediator is unlike a judge for several reasons. Most importantly, a mediator does not decide who is in the right or the wrong but rather focuses on finding a solution that meets the needs and desires of both spouses. A mediator will not impose his or her conclusions about how the issues should be solved. If necessary, a mediator might offer suggestions, but the most effective mediators will enable the spouses to generate their own solutions and agreements. Mediators do not make any kind of ruling on the case so spouses can spend less time trying to convince the mediator that they are right and instead focus on creating a joint resolution.
Before committing to using the services of a particular mediator, spouses should confirm that the mediator has extensive training beyond the minimum requirements, has considerable experience mediating, is dedicated to helping spouses get the most out of the process, and is the right fit for the personalities involved.
Being a lawyer is not a requirement to be a mediator. Even if your mediator is a lawyer, he or she cannot be your lawyer because a mediator must remain unbiased. For mediation to be successful, it is critical that participants feel comfortable with their mediator’s ability to remain neutral. It is very important to seek the advice of your own qualified and trusted attorney, who will look out for your best interests, before committing to a settlement agreement.
Every mediator has a different approach to the process so all participants must be comfortable with the mediator’s personal style. Some mediators use an evaluative style: freely evaluating the strengths and weaknesses of each side’s case (in private sessions), to help them assess their alternatives and make wise choices in the mediation. Other mediators are more facilitative: refraining from asserting their judgments and instead facilitating a conversation that draws out the assessments of the spouses themselves. Transformative mediators are somewhat similar to facilitative mediators in that they are focused on the spouses’ needs and points of view. In transformative mediation, the spouses control both the process and the outcome. A creative mediator will be able to use any or all of these approaches when appropriate and may even ask the participants for their input regarding their desired approach. An effective mediator will manage the process in a way that moves participants forward, toward a resolution, with the spouses’ own unique goals and interests as a guide.
When searching for the right fit, most mediators will be happy to spend a few minutes speaking with a potential client at no charge to explain the process, answer any questions the client may have, and allow the client to determine whether the mediator would be a good fit.
Mediation is a private and confidential process; another advantage of divorce mediation. Spouses meet with their mediator as often as agreed upon to finalize an agreement they are happy with, with no public record attached. At the end of the process, the final agreement is taken to court to make it an official order, making that document the only public record of the divorce. The value of assets and debts can even remain private in your final agreement so that they are not explicitly shared in public records. One exception to privacy includes when divorce mediation is court-ordered. In that event, all matters prior to mediation will be public record.
Online mediation is fast, efficient, and effective and may be more accessible for some couples. The sessions can occur over a multitude of video conferencing services like Zoom or Google Meet and if needed, via conference call. The mediator will engage in mediation as though they were meeting with the couple in-person and focus on facilitating a discussion geared toward coming to a mutually acceptable agreement. As mediation comes to a close and a final agreement has been written, documents requiring signatures can usually be signed and transmitted electronically.
Conducting divorce mediation sessions remotely provides several benefits for divorcing spouses, including:
Accessibility: Conducting a online divorce mediation session can be more comfortable than meeting with your spouse and mediator in-person. All you need is a phone or computer anda stable internet connection. An added plus is that it is generally easier to set an appointment that works for all parties involved because they can be squeezed into the middle of a busy day without having to spend time commuting.
Convenience: Couples are able to conduct sessions from work, at home, while traveling, or from wherever they might be. Given you can avoid traffic, travel costs, and looking for parking, couples can save lots of time. Online divorce mediation is especially convenient for those who travel frequently and/or have moved out of town, but still want to mediate their divorce settlement.
Comfort: Some spouses want to use divorce mediation butbeing in the same room as their spouse can bring up feelings of anger, distress, and pain. Online divorce mediation has the power to mediate those by helping couples (literally) maintain their distance while they work out their differences from a comfortable and safe space.
Increases options: If you live in a smaller town or rural area, you may find it difficult to find a divorce mediator in your area. Online divorce mediation provides couples with the opportunity to find a mediator that meets their needs without having to travel a long distance or settle for the closest mediator.
California is a community property state, which means that any income or property earned by either partner while married will be split equally between them during the divorce. California is only one of nine states that have community property laws. Decisions made in court will vary significantly depending on which state or country jurisdiction the agreement falls in at the time of the divorce.
Mediation helps keep courts out of the division of property and instead places the decision in the hands of the couple and family. Through the help of an unbiased third-party mediator, couples experiencing a separation can resolve their issues regarding the division of property and debt without having to resort to a court’s decision-making process.
Debt division is included in the property division process and varies based on community property or equitable division status. It is common for couples to have accumulated high amounts of unsecured debt, with little asset acquisition during the marriage. In these cases, the debt division process is more complicated and if unresolved between the spouses, the courts will determine the division based on rationales provided by state law.By partaking in mediation, couples have the power to decide how they would like to divide debt and other liabilities and obligations without having to involve the court in the decision-making process.
Laws determining whether or not one party will be required to make support payments to the other party once divorced and how long said payment should be made vary by state. Community property states like California consider a wide range of factors that can be found in the Family Code Section 4320. Mediators can help reduce the conflict and tension that typically surround this issue and support both spouses in collaborating peaceably without the need to go to court.
Separating from your partner can be a costly process. In mediation, you control that cost. Divorce mediation is not nearly as expensive as a divorce trial or custody suit as a trial alone can cost thousands of dollars per day. Most family and divorce mediators charge by the hour and only charge for the time spent working on the case. Mediation generally costs between five and ten thousand dollars whereas one divorce hearing alone could cost that much. Having a separation agreement already prepared before beginning mediation can lessen the costs of mediation even further.
The money saved by choosing mediation over an exhausting divorce trial can be put towards children’s college tuition or even a few relaxing beach vacations to create lifelong memories with your loved ones.
Before going into a mediation session, all parents are encouraged to go through the parenting tools and resources on UpToParents.org like the Divorce Mission Statement and utilize the books and podcasts found on FocusOnTheFamily.com. The parenting site CoParenter.com provides easy-to-use tools to draft successful letters to your co-parent and to develop and tweak your parenting plan. It is also recommended that parents use the suggested age-appropriate parenting plans provided by the Orange County Superior Court and the communication tools of OurFamilyWizard.com as resources to help your children through this process.
When a child experiences a high-conflict divorce, it can leave lasting psychological and emotional harm. Although it may not be the parent’s intention, children often feel forced to choose sides. Parents may even actively try to alienate the child from the other parent without realizing the impact it can have on the child. As a parent, it is natural to want to fight to protect your relationship with your child but often it is the endless fighting that does the most harm.
Mediation reduces the likelihood of childhood trauma from divorce by reducing conflict, providing positive approaches to family communication, and demonstrating collaborative decision making. Parents are encouraged to consider mediation because of benefits including but not limited to:
Reducing stress for the child. Children will endure significantly less psychological and emotional stress when not having to choose sides or witnessing parents fight.
Ensuring positive relationships between parents. In mediation, parents are allowed to create a parenting plan that works for everyone involved, particularly the child.
Laying the foundation for long-term parental collaboration. Filing for divorce does not mean that parents should no longer work together to raise the child. Mediation lays the groundwork for parents to work together long after the divorce is finalized.
Preserving money for the child. A drawn-out battle can be expensive and time-consuming. Money is better preserved when put towards directly caring for the child.
Allowing you to spend more time with your child. The time spent in the courtroom during a divorce trial can be better spent with your child. Mediation is often a time-saver.
In countries where family mediation is an accepted adjunct to litigation, research has shown that in cases where mediation is utilized, there is greater potential for the development of optimal co-parenting relationships as well as ongoing parental cooperation. Research also shows that agreements reached through mediation are more likely to be adhered to by the parents. Parents’ ability to develop customized outcomes that meet their and their children’s unique needs and requirements during mediation are more likely to succeed in implementing the terms of the agreement.
Once your final agreement is presented before a judge and the seal has been set on your mediation agreement, it is considered a legally binding contract. For example, if you run into problems with parenting time, real estate conflicts, or any other point of contention after the divorce is finalized, any enforcement agencies involved in resolving those conflicts will refer to this order as law. Although the mediation agreement is a more informal and less expensive process, it is just as serious and legally binding once the process is complete.
Balakhane Mediation is now offering Online Divorce and Family Mediation Services for clients in El monte. Online services include private and confidential video conferencing for both the initial consultation and all mediation meetings. Choosing to engage in online mediation is easy, simple, and convenient!
This year has been a trying time for us all. As parents, our roles have intensified under unforeseen circumstances, and the pandemic makes us all worry about our loved ones and their futures. Co-parenting issues under the lockdown mandate can seem impossible, and the impact on salaries and the global market may generate uncertainty regarding your settlement agreement.
Leyla is here to offer her support and expertise to ensure that such matters are resolved for the benefit of both spouses and most significantly, the children. Please do not hesitate to reach out and let Leyla help you through these difficult times.
Sue Gramacy
October 25, 2022.
I recommend Leyla Balakhane for resolving family disputes. She listens carefully, appreciates the emotions and needs that underline each conversation . She is genuinely concerned with the well being of all parties involved. She is very effective. What’s great is she always focuses on the best interest of the children. I have worked with Leyla for over 10 years and have watched her work her magic with families.
Sue Gramacy
Stacey Lisk
October 14, 2022.
Leyla Balakhane was one of the supervising mediators that worked with us at Edmund D Edelman Children’s Court. Given that she was one of the top mediators working on unlawful detainer cases, she was referred by a judge who found her to be incredibly gifted in what she does and felt that she would be a great asset in working with families. Leyla has a natural ability to connect with the families and helping them reach agreements that is far above whats required. Given that she was very interested in growing in her practice, she was able to help create a more in-depth and detailed parenting checklist which led to a higher success rate in or mediations at the Children’s Court. Because of Leyla many families have more profound and insightful agreements. I would add supervising mediator
Your RN Attorney Jennifer Johnston Terando
October 12, 2022.
Leyla Balakhane is knowledgable, compassionate, and effective. I highly recommend her as a mediator.
Shsavina TehrNi
October 10, 2022.
Thank you Leyla for helping us finalize a very difficult journey. We are able to have a better coparenting relationship because of everything you taught us. We are both very grateful for helping us resolve all issues in an amicable manner.
Rachel Hsiung
March 17, 2022.
Leyla is professional, patient and wonderful person to work with. She’s a good negotiator and listener to help her clients to get amicable results.
Noah Stern
October 9, 2021.
Layla is a superb mediator. She helped my family through a tough time with ease. I highly recommend Leyla for any family going through a challenging time.
sepideh doust
March 28, 2021.
Leyla Balakhane was my supervising mediator at children's courthouse. She taught me great communication tools to implement in my mediation practice. She helps the family, social worker, attorneys, and others involved in the case facilitate meaningful discussion and resolve the issues sent to mediation. Her level of wisdom is uncanny. She is able to bring awareness for parents to make the best decision for their family. I would highly recommend her as a skilled mediator in the field of family mediation.
Zak Shapiro
January 22, 2021.
Leyla is an exemplary mediator for couples going through a divorce. She has the couples best interest in mind at all times through out the mediation process. She truly supports couples in making the best decision for them, whether its to help work towards reconciliation or agree on divorce terms. She helps couple find creative and collaborative solutions for their division of assets and debts. She is patient and understanding of what both parties are going though, and she carefully and thoughtfully helps to find a solution. I Cannot recommend her enough!
Matthew Khorsandi
September 28, 2020.
Leyla is an incredible mediator with a wealth of knowledge and experience. Most importantly, she genuinely cares for the people she works with. Highly recommend.
