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Top Ten Reasons Why Couples Divorce

Couples separate for a multitude of reasons, but most marriages end because of a fairly common issues. Whether it be a lack of communication or extreme differences in values, both experts and couples commonly report the following ten reasons for why couples divorce:

1. Lack of Trust.

Believing in your partner is integral to any relationship, and if partners do not trust each other, the relationship is unlikely to last. A lack of trust invites insecurities that are typically damaging to a marriage.

2. Communication Problems.

Effective communication is one of the main reasons any relationship is troubled. If the lines of communication are cut off or nonexistent–if couples do not talk openly about their feelings and needs–then the relationship is inevitably going to fail. Communication is incredibly important for resolving issues and ensuring your partner remains happy in the relationship.

3. Expectations.

Oftentimes, couples have certain expectations of the other person, and if those expectations are not met, it leads to disappointment, disillusionment, and sadness. If couples do not communicate these expectations to their partner, but instead wait for things to change, they will create distance in their relationship. Also, if one partner refuses to be flexible when the other partner tells them about how their expectations are not being met, the relationship is likely to experience a significant strain.

4. Lack of Mutual Respect.

Everyone has disagreements, but when couples are unable to resolve their conflicts because one partner cannot respect the wishes of the other partner, the relationship suffers.

5. Different Goals and Values.

Couples stumble upon major disagreements because they may hold very different values from their partner or may have long-term goals that put a strain on the relationship. One partner may feel as though the other partner is keeping them from achieving something they have worked toward for many years. Or couples may realize they have extremely different values (e.g. religious affiliation, cultural customs, etc.) that seemed inconsequential at the beginning of the marriage, but are actually disruptive to the relationship later on.

6. Finances.

An often cited reason for divorce is a difference of opinion on how to manage finances. If couples cannot agree on how to manage their assets and cash flow, it will often become a regular point of contention. Since money is integral to many aspects of everyday life, couples who do not agree on finances will find themselves fighting often.

7. Marrying for Other People.

Sometimes people get married because they are afraid of disappointing their parents or do not want to hurt their partner by ending the relationship. In any case, marrying for any other reason than because you love and trust your partner invites the potential for turmoil down the road. A divorce is extremely expensive and difficult, and even if the caterer, venue and flowers are all arranged, a marriage should not be made for the sake of other people.

8. Abuse.

If partners are physically or emotionally abusive, the marriage may last a while before the victimized partner finally seeks outside help. Abuse is unacceptable in any relationship, but it is important for married victims to reach out to a trusted line of support in order to find a way out of their relationship.

9. Change.

Whether it be a drastic life event or a slow transition over time, people change. Oftentimes, these changes render a couple incompatible, and if partners are not willing to accommodate the changes their partner has undergone, the marriage is not likely to thrive.

10. No Intimacy.

The spark in a marriage is prone to fizzling for many couples, especially if they have been together for many years or have had children. If physical and emotional intimacy are no longer present in the marriage, it is difficult to maintain a loving and fulfilling relationship. One partner may feel neglected or couples may not know how to get out of a rut, and if these intimacy problems persist, it is difficult to make it out of this slump.

  • Leyla Balakhane
    Family Law Mediator
    Phone:   424-235-4173
    Email:     leyla@balakhanemediation.com

    Leyla Balakhane is a distinguished and experienced mediator, facilitator, coach, and trainer who specializes in highly-charged divorce and family mediation. Leyla is a passionate mediator who has always felt drawn to help others navigate conflicts and advocate for children who will inevitably shape our society.

    Every child deserves to have a happy, safe and loving home environment and Leyla is committed to helping make that a reality.

    Leyla is a member of the Los Angeles County Bar Association (LACBA) Arbitration Panel, a Certified Practitioner of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM), and an active member of the Southern California Mediation Association.

    Leyla’s extensive experience as a mediator is not only utilized with families, but has also prepared her to provide training in mediation at various universities and professional organizations. She is an expert in the field of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR), and her approach to divorce is effective, compassionate, and economical.

    Leyla serves as a mentor for the mediators at Edmund D. Edelman Children’s Court where she trains mediators and resolves Juvenile dependency disputes such as shared parental responsibility, termination of parental rights, and adoption disputes.

    Leyla empowers her clients to explore options that are tailored toward the specific needs of their families. She helps her clients shape their family’s future, explore the best possible outcomes, negotiate appropriate compromises, and directly participate in the decision-making process.

    Having considerable knowledge and a keen sensitivity to cross-cultural issues, Leyla’s approach to mediation encourages empathy and understanding to get to the heart of the conflict. She responds directly to the needs of each spouse and is mindful that every family is unique.

    Leyla is praised for alleviating grievances that can often come with a separation and she encourages parents to commit to strengthening their relationships. Through mediation, the family will be supported using a cooperative approach that allows parents to collaboratively reconcile the prospect of continued teamwork and positive communication while also tending to the best interests of their children.
    Leyla extends her mediation services to those who are struggling with conflict regarding important life decisions. She mediates the following issues, in addition to divorce:

    - Adoption
    - Interpersonal relations
    - Family businesses
    - Guardianship
    - Conservatorship and eldercare
    - Pre-marital Mediation (i.e., prenuptial agreements)
    - Post-marital Mediation (modifications of existing orders)
    - Dissolution of non-marital relationships (domestic partnerships);
    - Teen issues
    - Parent coordination
    - Blended Family mediation
    - Cohabitation agreements

    Mediation Experience
    - Balakhane Mediation–Family Law Mediator
    - Britton White Mediation Services – Family Law Mediator
    - Los Angeles Bar Association – Fee Arbitrator
    - Children’s Courthouse – Supervise and mentor mediators and law students in performing child custody and visitation arrangements, draft mediation agreements, and create parenting plans that are informed by the court exit orders
    - ADR Panel, Los Angeles Superior Court–Served as a mediator in family law and civil disputes
    - LA Mediate, Family Law Mediator Panel –Served as a Family Law Mediator
    - Center for Dispute Resolution Panel – Served as a mediator in Los Angeles Superior Court for small claims resulting in 90% in written settlement agreements
    - California Academy of Mediation Professionals (CAMP) Mediator Panel – Mediated unlawful detainer, civil harassment, elderly abuse, domestic violence, limited jurisdiction, and small claims cases
    - Inglewood Superior Courthouse – Volunteer at the legal clinic for domestic violence restraining orders
    - Mosten Mediation Training, Mediation Coach – 40 Hour Divorce Mediation
    - USC Gould School of Law, Mediation Coach – Children & Dependency Mediation
    Pepperdine and USC Law School, Mediation Trainer and Coach – Courtroom Mediation Skills
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    Education:
    • USC Law School - Children & Dependency Mediation
    • Pepperdine School of Law - Advanced Mediation Training in Family Law Dispute Resolution
    • Loyola Marymount University - B.A. in Psychology
    • Los Angeles County Bar Association - Attorney-Client Fee Dispute Arbitration Training
    • Marina Collaborative Divorce Group - Mediation Training on Collaborative Divorce
    • Santa Clara County Superior Court- Advanced Mediation Skills Practicum
    • High Conflict Institute
    • Santa Clara County Superior Court - Mediation and Negotiation Workshop
    • American Institute of Mediation - Legal Nuts & Bolts
    • National Business Institute - Family Law Training
    Affiliations and Certifications:
    • Seeds Community Resolution Center - Mediation Certification
    Services Provided:
    • Divorce Mediation
    • Family Law Mediation
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Balakhane Mediation: Family and Divorce Mediation
Academy of Professional Family Mediators

- Mediation Encourages Collaboration, Cooperation and Mutual Respect -