Life After Divorce: Coping with Loneliness

Posted in Uncategorized, Couples, Divorce.

Many couples regard their relationship as a source of comfort, reassurance and identity. Once you are stripped of the confines of your marriage, it is difficult to find who you are outside of it. Typically, people experience a state of shock as they realize, for various reasons, they are no longer married. As is typical with those reeling from the loss of a family member, people going through a divorce are prone to anger, fear and acceptance. Oftentimes, people are most concerned about how their children will react to the news.This range of emotions is understandably disorienting, and so it is important to begin to piece your life together on your own terms. Rediscovering your interests, hobbies and community is challenging, but the journey will be extremely rewarding and beneficial for your personal growth. The most important factor to consider post-divorce is that other people have been where you are; you are not alone.

There are several suggestions you can take to reduce the impact of loneliness on. While some suggestions may be outside of your comfort zone or impractical for your lifestyle, consider how the essential message in each section could impact your life. Try a few, or try them all!

1. Make Time to Nurture Yourself

First, take a step back and handle every day with a fresh perspective. Time only moves forward, and dwelling on the past will only affect your future. So treat each day as a new opportunity to do something significant to you.
Take care of you. Take up a new fitness class. Visit a spa. Find an activity you truly enjoy that is also calming, soothing and nurturing. Looking after yourself is a healing balm, and slowly over time, you are closer to a healthier, brighter outlook on life.
Renew your body, as well as your mind and soul. Divorce can be very lonely and stressful, and if you feel you need to open up to a counselor or therapist, do not hesitate to do so. Speaking to a professional counselor or therapist allows you to vent about your circumstances in a safe space. Group therapy is also a great resource for people going through a divorce as it can be extremely beneficial to talk to other people who are also experiencing what you are going through.

2. Build a New Community of Support

Find a support group. You can typically find a variety of different types of support groups (e.g. singles-with-children, singles-only, divorced singles, etc.).
Reconnect with friends and acquaintances you haven’t spoken to in a while. Single or married, divorced or not, you can build a well-rounded community of friends to offer you support in the wake of your divorce.
Approach singles in your workplace and surrounding community. Building new relationships can seem daunting at first, but most people want to connect with others. Simply asking someone for coffee or to join you for lunch can lead to a lasting friendship.
Find people who make you feel better. Whether they offer you great advice or genuinely brighten your outlook on life, integrate them into your life and activities. The more time you spend with people who love and support you, the more valued and cherished you will feel.
Spend time with your kids. Divorce is difficult for parents and their children, and so making time to connect with your children after the divorce is important for their well-being and the future of your relationship with them. Your children are also a form of familial support. They represent a significant and important part of your life, and they can be an excellent source of help as you transition into a new lifestyle.

3. Start Planning Ahead

Now that you are the master of your own schedule, you can plan activities tailored to your own preferences. So plan your weekend activities and fill you home with guests. Since you’ll be spending more time alone, it is important to fill up that time with new plans.
Host a dinner at your house. Or invite your friends over for a game night. Next time, one of your friends can have everyone over at their house, and you won’t have to clean up later.
Delve into new hobbies or activities where you are likely to interact with other people. You can volunteer in the community, join a church group, take a cooking class, sign up for a book club–just go out and discover what you enjoy.
Find other singles by starting your own group activities with other singles or by networking through the singles you already know.
At the end of the day, you should do what feels right for you. It is challenging to find the motivation to present yourself to the world when you would rather stay home, but it’s important to move forward and create new memories. It is extremely beneficial to create goals for yourself. You could strive for a new level of fitness or read books you never managed to find time to read.

Most importantly, take advantage of the time you have right now. Putting off your goals or waiting for the perfect opportunity to introduce yourself to new people will only stifle the growth you could be making right away. Remember, time only moves forward, and a beautiful day is waiting for you as long as you seize the opportunity to create your own happiness.

If you have any questions or concerns about mediation, or would like to
schedule a no fee mediation consultation, please don’t hesitate to contact me today!
Leyla Balakhane is a Family Law Mediator in the Los Angeles area and can be reached at 424.235.4173

Sue Gramacy

October 25, 2022.

I recommend Leyla Balakhane for resolving family disputes. She listens carefully, appreciates the emotions and needs that underline each conversation . She is genuinely concerned with the well being of all parties involved. She is very effective. What’s great is she always focuses on the best interest of the children. I have worked with Leyla for over 10 years and have watched her work her magic with families. Sue Gramacy

Stacey Lisk

October 14, 2022.

Leyla Balakhane was one of the supervising mediators that worked with us at Edmund D Edelman Children’s Court. Given that she was one of the top mediators working on unlawful detainer cases, she was referred by a judge who found her to be incredibly gifted in what she does and felt that she would be a great asset in working with families. Leyla has a natural ability to connect with the families and helping them reach agreements that is far above whats required. Given that she was very interested in growing in her practice, she was able to help create a more in-depth and detailed parenting checklist which led to a higher success rate in or mediations at the Children’s Court. Because of Leyla many families have more profound and insightful agreements. I would add supervising mediator

Your RN Attorney Jennifer Johnston Terando

October 12, 2022.

Leyla Balakhane is knowledgable, compassionate, and effective. I highly recommend her as a mediator.

Shsavina TehrNi

October 10, 2022.

Thank you Leyla for helping us finalize a very difficult journey. We are able to have a better coparenting relationship because of everything you taught us. We are both very grateful for helping us resolve all issues in an amicable manner.

Rachel Hsiung

March 17, 2022.

Leyla is professional, patient and wonderful person to work with. She’s a good negotiator and listener to help her clients to get amicable results.

Noah Stern

October 9, 2021.

Layla is a superb mediator. She helped my family through a tough time with ease. I highly recommend Leyla for any family going through a challenging time.

sepideh doust

March 28, 2021.

Leyla Balakhane was my supervising mediator at children's courthouse. She taught me great communication tools to implement in my mediation practice. She helps the family, social worker, attorneys, and others involved in the case facilitate meaningful discussion and resolve the issues sent to mediation. Her level of wisdom is uncanny. She is able to bring awareness for parents to make the best decision for their family. I would highly recommend her as a skilled mediator in the field of family mediation.

Zak Shapiro

January 22, 2021.

Leyla is an exemplary mediator for couples going through a divorce. She has the couples best interest in mind at all times through out the mediation process. She truly supports couples in making the best decision for them, whether its to help work towards reconciliation or agree on divorce terms. She helps couple find creative and collaborative solutions for their division of assets and debts. She is patient and understanding of what both parties are going though, and she carefully and thoughtfully helps to find a solution. I Cannot recommend her enough!

Matthew Khorsandi

September 28, 2020.

Leyla is an incredible mediator with a wealth of knowledge and experience. Most importantly, she genuinely cares for the people she works with. Highly recommend.